A Scientific Study, Day 3.
It is becoming difficult to divide the things that are happening in my life from the things that are happening in my life as a result of the study, and I’m not certain what is or is not pertinent to the results.
I did just break up with my girlfriend, and whether it was a result of the experiment is debatable. It would be ridiculous and disrespectful to suggest that this study was the cause of the dissolution of our relationship, and though there is no doubt that it played a part in it, this is neither the time nor the place to examine that. This is a Scientific Study, after all, and I must carry on.
The experiment does not allow for mistakes. Mr. Kevin Stone and I attended the kickoff event for the Time-Based Art Festival at the Works at Washington High School with the intention of seeing Gang Gang Dance do their wacky thing, but they were demanding identification at the entrance, and I had, unfortunately, forgotten mine at home. I took off, leaving Mr. Stone in line, with the intention of returning with his bike key (our bicycles were entwined), realizing only as I bounded down the steps and on to Stark street that it was possible that there were a multitude of obstacles preventing me from returning his key to him. What if he got in? What if I couldn’t find him again? Luckily he came bounding around the corner shortly after I had unlocked my trusty steed from his, but if it wasn’t for his foresight, it could have been yet another frustrating event in a night teeming with such events.
All of this said, it has been surprisingly tranquil in the moments when I’ve realized that I’m not checking my phone or feeling its presence. Though I do struggle with this duality: part of the point of the experiment is to pay attention to how I feel and behave without the phone weighing on my consciousness, but that inadvertently adds to my awareness of its absence and therefore disrupts the study.
I have no idea where this will take me…