The Ordinary Times

called a freak.

I am going to preface this dream sequence I had last night because it’s one of the scariest I can remember. Lately my vivid dreams have made a comeback, keeping me from actually getting any good rest. I apologize for any detail that may gross you out. I have never been one to keep details to myself.

My Jeep is half dog, half jeep. His name is Jupiter and he is looking at Melissa and I, wagging his tail, brimming with excitement. We decide to ride him to a gravel road by the entrance to the freeway. Jupiter switches back and forth from giant Malamute to 4×4 on the ride there and then speeds up as we go over dirt mounds and mud puddles. We are having a blast.

I wake up in my childhood bedroom. The chalk drawings are still scrawled across the fake wood paneling from my years of pretending to be a teacher.  I feel funny like something isn’t right. I really have to pee. I go to the bathroom, and as I situate myself I realize something is terribly wrong. My vagina has been sewn shut. I look down at my stomach and see a large incision 5 inches in length starting at my belly button that has been sewn shut also.  I feel sick to my stomach. I glance in the mirror and see that my eyes have incisions on either edge also. I quickly look away knowing my reflection is too frightening to handle.

I can hear voices down the hall and a TV blaring. I search for something sharp in the bathroom drawers and find a box knife and a book of matches. I burn the tip of the box knife to kill any germs and then try to cut myself open.  I am dizzy with nausea and disbelief, but somehow instinct has taken over. I stop. Is my stomach moving? Or is it just my imagination? The overwhelming sickness is making my hands and legs shake and I begin to give into the fear.

I think if only I can get to a hospital they will be able to correct all of this. I scramble back to my room and see my cell phone sitting on the dresser. The 911 operator has the most soothing voice. She speaks gently, asking where I am and if I can get to a safe location. I promise her I’ll try. I do not provide details of my condition, only that I need an ambulance.

I sneak down the hallway to the backdoor, knowing that if I make it outside I will be ok. I see a woman in the living room talking on the phone in front of the noisy television set. She is black with purple lips. She looks like she has been dead before.  Our eyes meet and she is surprised at first, and then lunges for me. I make it outside to my car, which is a bright blue two door Sprint hatchback that my parents had when I was a kid. I am still on the phone with the 911 operator and she assures me I will be safe once I make it home.

I woke up at two completely terrified, suffocating from the heat. I ran outside to the front porch where Monday was lounging. The night air was cool and I let myself breathe, my mind still racing from that nasty dream. When I looked up at the sky there was one huge bright star directly above me. At first I thought it was a plane, but it did not move and neither did I. I stared at it for a while until I felt normal again.